Hindu Engagements

Vishnu Mandir Staff asked 3 years ago


I am a Hindu who was born and raised in Canada. My parents are religious people and they made sure that our religion was a dominant element in my upbringing.

  1. My understanding is that a minute of meditation/prayer where your intentions are pure and the meaning is understood is more valuable than a year of reciting prayers and mantras if you do not know why you are doing it or if you have poor intentions. Is this correct?
  2. In the Guyanese community, when two people want to get engaged, the men from the girls side travel to the boys side (without the girl) and give the boy a ring. Then the boy can give the girl a ring later on. I was told that this tradition is not part of our scriptures and that it is ONLY a Guyanese tradition – meant to protect the dowry on the way home. Is this correct?
  3. Is getting “engaged” a part of our religion? If so, what is the correct way for two people to get engaged according to our scriptures?
  4. In this Western society that we live in, the tradition is for the boy to buy a ring and propose to the girl. It is meant to be a surprise. I was told that this cannot be done because this is “backwards”. However, I believe Dr. Doobay said something along the lines of “if we do not adapt our religion and traditions to reflect the ways and lifestyles of our youth, they will lose interest in our religion.” So, my question is, how can a boy propose to a girl (by surprise) and still incorporate our religion into this act?
1 Answers
Best Answer
Vishnu Mandir Staff answered 3 years ago

Your One minute prayer

There is no switch to put this intensity on. You have to install it only then can you turn it on.

If you feel it while you imagine and express your wish or ideas, then you will get it. Western psychology today is touting: if you want a particular thing, then you positively tell yourself – in the morning when you wake (and in the evening at or around sunset) at least 15 times, “I am that thing” while saying it you have to feel you have and by George, you will get it.

Hindu philosophy has been saying the same thing, pray to the God you really are, feel you are this God. Do the same in the evening with same intense feeling and you will realise the God you are.

You cannot just turn on a switch which will make you pray intensely for a minute. The feeling has to be cultivated and yes the mechanical repetition does help the mind to bend towards the realisation of that 1 minute intensity you seem to be able to spare for the attainment of the joy that passeth understanding.


Yes, there are traditions we grow up with and, traditions can be altered to conform to logical reasoning and other ways that are made dominant in our lives by looking at what people we try to emulate do and also advertisements and documentaries or films we see that are different from our traditions.

We can question traditions and make them more compatible with the society in which we live. Let us do it with reasoning and try not to shock the older folks who saw only one way of doing something.

This getting together in Marriage and the whole process involved is a manmade thing. We pray to God and get blessings from our elders of course. This a big step and commitment in our lives and we need all the help to make this leap successful.

Hope this helps.

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